Facebook off late has become an endless list of photographs (selfies, to be precise), repeated jokes that have stopped being funny and links to web pages from all over. But once in a while there is something that makes you pause and observe.
I came across a blog from Huffingtonpost that stopped me from mindlessly scrolling down. It was on abuse; emotional, marital abuse; the kind that is not violent, but violates one nevertheless.
Emotional abuse often goes unnoticed. With no visible signs, those affected often retreat into silence and loneliness.
It is very hard for those impacted to talk about it because it is so hard to explain why something that doesn’t involve physical hurt or control over things like money can be hurtful. One can be misdiagnosed with being immature or not smart enough to deal with ups and downs of normal life.
One may be in a very different situation compared to what is documented in this blog . Nevertheless, abuse leaves scars deep enough and one needs to learn to recognise it and deal with it.
1. Abuse is repetitive
Mockery and bullying becomes emotional abuse when repeated over a period of time, to such an extent that it starts creating self doubt and low self esteem in the abused.
Criticism is when someone gives a feedback and expects you to change. It crosses over to abuse when someone yells at you or passes sarcastic comments to make their selves feel better by belittling the other.
2. It is a two-way street
This is something I strongly believe in. Emotional abuse can continue only as long as someone allows it. It is you who provide the power the other someone holds over you. You take that power back, the abuser might as well be talking to a wall.
3. It is personal
One cannot compare what two different people are going through. The cases can be vastly different and very personal to each one. This is what makes it hard to talk about in the first place.
In short, while this is a sensitive topic, emotional abuse is very real but is also something not impossible to deal with. Unfortunately we all face it at some point in our lives.
At a spiritual level, it is a challenge to our magnificent selves to rise against the fog. To stay true to one’s self is the only way to work out of it.
After all, when someone criticises you, that means they don’t agree with a part of who you are. It is up to you to agree with their view.